Grave Sense of Normalcy – 24
Unlike usual, nothing here will talk about the comic. I have a lot going on in my life, and want to explain last week.
I never understood why everything bad seems to happen at once. Issues never seem to resolve themselves before others occur, and everything just crashes down simultaneously.
My family is a very volatile kind of crazy. While I love my mother to death, she is a bit of a loose cannon—I never know what will set her off. I cut my own hair not too long ago and I did a pretty good job of it. However, a small piece of it was longer than the rest, and that caused way more stress in my household than it should have. I had to leave for a few days for the situation to cool itself down.
I spent 4 nights at Erin’s. This was a big mistake. Lately, Erin has been very busy working 2 jobs and putting herself through school. However, there had been a certain… coldness in our interactions. Erin would kind of glare at me when I tried to cuddle with her, or snap at me in front of her friends. Staying with her wasn’t a good experience. I started to feel as though I wasn’t wanted—not one of the things we agreed upon when we got back together.
Monday, while I was staying with Erin, I was summoned for Jury Duty. Since it was Federal Court, I had to commute into Brooklyn starting at 5:20 in the morning to get into town by 8:30.
After a few more days feeling alone in a crowded house and commuting to work, I returned home on Thursday. I shaved my head, as I believe my hair is just a source of misery (it’s childish, but I have my reasons). My mother and I made up immediately.
There is a lot more to the situation with Erin than I have elaborated on. I had been considering ending the relationship, and was giving it time to repair itself, but certain circumstances too private to mention occurred, which have put my health at risk, both mentally and physically. As a result, Erin and I have parted ways. I wish her much luck and love in her future, but there is a residing sadness in my heart. I will always love her deeply, but that is simply no longer enough. I have a lot of growing up to do, and cannot provide for her everything she wants. I still very much want to be with her, but I know it can’t be, and will no longer try to make it work when it can’t.
I assure you, I am fine. I have friends and family to support me, and I think I’ll be okay. It may take some time, but I think I’ll love again, but that is far upon the horizon, and I must move forward.
I’ll see you all on Friday.